Sunday, 15 February 2009

KILL UGLY RADIO

Urgh. This girl is absolutely killing it and it is making me hate myself. Initially I was thinking how awesome it would be to either be 5 8" or to have delicate, gamine little thighs that could carry off pale, patterned jeans with aplomb, but come to think of it, what about just having a really fucking huge dog instead? Maybe this whole deal is an optical illusion and this bitch is actually four stone, but either way I am getting a (sartorial) boner, so maybe it's best that I'm not wearing pink, skintight jeans after all.

I still want to dye my hair and I need to raise the money, so I am currently available for a variety of positions ranging from clown to prostitute depending on your budget. I'm afraid of clowns, so I would actually prefer prostitute, although if you're offering enough money I will happily combine the two (insert double-entendre about "gag" as a homonym here). No time-wasters, please.

(Apparently my birthday falls on the same day as "National Steak and Blow-Job day", which is such bullshit. I mean, I don't even like steak.) 

8 comments:

FOXYMAN said...

aaaaahahahaahahahahahaha you are too good. you should make a book out of these posts

louise said...

Fur'real ? Meat & Blowjob day ? My birthday falls on the same day as Michael Jackson. I like to think that day holds the key to being a mentally disabled bounty.

robyn said...

I vote for the ginormous dog.

fuxsake said...

something which hasn't been discovered yet but turns out to be a great source for fast money- marketing research.
you don't have to do anything at all except talking about a product and after 90 minutes you got out with a good amount of money in your pockets.
for doing NOTHING! i personally love it.

FOXYMAN said...

don't get scared, but think i should let you know..
its 1.21am and i've got a work brief due in tomorrow that i should have been doing, then suddenly i got this urge to make my way over to the bed and sit in front of the t.v (bf was watching a movie) and start reading out a few of your posts to him... i like them that much. he liked them too.. then he told me to go to my work and stop myspacing.

Philippa Snow said...

I'm not scared at all. My only hope is that one of my stories can get your friend "Mad Rad" to raise his quizzical eyebrows even further.

dandy gum said...

mon dieu.

you'd like to see the second half of your header? that one i see all over the place is my censored version.

lol

Philippa Snow said...

I absolutely NEED to see the unedited version. It'd probably make a better header.