Sunday, 25 January 2009

SHE SMOKED MENTHOLATED CIGARETTES, AND SHE HAD SEX IN THE HALL

I know it's hard to tell because a savage overplucking of my eyebrows has rendered me constantly suggestive, but man, am I in a good mood today! I know that's not what you come here for, but suck it up, Princess, because I am going to be vomiting sunshine directly into your eyes for the next few days. I'd offer you more information, but I'm in an internet cafe and I feel pretty self-conscious and weird and, you know, self-indulgent rattling away at this thing in a room full of strangers. I mean, it's not like anyone will actually read anything that I write in this shit. OMG, can you even imagine! I would just die if that happened!

I think I might be starting a job at Sketch on Conduit Street, and I have no real idea where that is. Is it even a good thing? Also, is it so terrible that I am linked from a fair few fashion blogs, but I never really talk that much about fashion? I could lie to you and tell you that it was because I felt that the topic was "frivolous" or "beneath me", but this argument holds very little water as #1, I always instinctively use the fashion singular (i.e. "a trouser") in real, actual, everyday life (boldened for emphasis), and #2, if you scroll back through my archives you will notice that in no less than two separate entries, I have written at reasonable length about a man shitting himself and then making a video about it.

(Why doesn't everyone who reads my tedious, bad-tempered bullshit make themselves known in the comments section of this post? We can all just think of it as an experiment; an extremely sexy experiment which involves you, myself and maybe, just maybe, some awkward, pause-laden, Pinter-esque cybersex.)

TTYL, internet!(I hate myself.)

7 comments:

Alyce said...

*makes myself known without much else too add* :P And oh, it would be easier to comment more here if you could use name/url and didn't HAVE to have a google/blogger-account *tries to find password*

fuxsake said...

because your writing is like a good shot of speed

Vanessa said...

Just started reading...nothing tedious about it. Rather refreshing in a world of endless "look at my outfit" blogs.

FOXYMAN said...

i feel like such a loser now (cause of my fashion blog)

your blog is amazing, its the way you write... it's addictive - the first time i found it i read back every post

m kappa said...

initiating sexy (?) experiment... i read you often, you reach admirable levels of sarcasm and bad-temperedness, and in this case it has a somehow charming effect.

Luana said...

Guilty! I've been reading your blog for a bit now & I love your writing.

The Vancouverista said...

i just discovered your blog about 15 minutes ago and so far am hooked
great writing style